So here I sit, almost 8 months after giving birth to Gabriel, wondering why God gave me such an amazing beautiful son. He is my life, my world, my everything, and there isn't one thing that I wouldn't do for him. God does things for a reason, he gave me Gabriel and I'll never know why. But what I do know, is how truly blessed I am. Being a mother is a gift. An amazing one at that. I feel so lucky to be able to raise this little boy. I think I've done a good job so far, with Josh's help of course.There is not one second of the day, that he doesn't run through my mind. And when he's asleep in his crib so soundly at night, it amazes me as I watch him, how this tiny little boy has captured my heart.
I ponder the future quite a lot as well. I ponder what he'll be like when he's 1 or 2, or what he'll want to do or be after graduating high school. I hope he realizes that I love him unconditionally, and that I will try my hardest to give him everything he hopes for. I hope that he still wants kisses from me when he's 8 or 9, and that he comes to me when he's having trouble at school. I hope he comes to me with his first broken heart, and I hope I'll know what to do to make him feel better. And I hope that he leads an amazing life and does what he's fully capable of doing, whether it be a doctor or a mechanic. And I hope when he does decide, that he knows how proud I will be of him.
It's amazing how this past year has flown by. From just finding out we're having a little boy to being put on bedrest and unsure of the outcome of my pregnancy to having a healthy baby boy and all being well in our world again. Our "big" newborn wasn't so big when we look back at his pictures. We got excited over the littlest things, Gabe FINALLY liking his swing, holding his head up at only 1 1/2 weeks old, and rolling over at just 2 months old. He's now a gabbing (well, baby talk), moving, jumping, crazy little 7 1/2 month old, and now I wish time would slow down. It seems as if yesterday I had pushed him out of my womb into this world, and yet he's already a laughing, smiley, little boy. Where has the time gone?
As the New Year approaches, in a meek 3 days, I get excited for what's to come. The challenges we will face, the joy's we will have, and a mere 4 1/2 months until Gabriel turns 1.